Life – a roller coaster

I feel so!

When I was young, I wanted to enjoy roller coaster rides. Although never ever was I comfortable with it. Still, I would get on it every single opportunity I would get. There would be phases of relaxation, excitation and fear. One minute into the ride, I would lose my sense to think and just let myself go with it. I just went with the flow and would come out somewhat happy smiling all overwhelmed.

And here I am feeling like I am on a roller coaster ride known as `life’ but this time I am feeling it differently. I thought I had it all sorted out. What could go wrong? I thought I am strong enough to handle what this ride has to offer. I am a grownup now, am I not? Well, I underestimated this ride. It has some really deep falls and twisted turns, strong enough to uncalm my nerves.

Will I come out happy out of it as I used to when I was young? Or will it ever end? Or do I really want it to end?

I wish to find out this as I will always want to get on this ride even though I hate it so much right now.

It is cold and silent tonight. The only sound I hear is from my small fan by my bed. Amidst this, my mind keeps asking my heart what is love? How do you define it? Does it have a form? Can you identify love if you see it? Can it be quantified?

One more year has passed for me as I turned 27 today. In these past years, I have seen love in many forms throughout my life. And each form is special in its own fashion. The word `love’ has been wrongly used to define lust or attraction. However, people with this feeling never fell in love. I have been in love before, atleast I thought it was love. But maybe it was merely an attraction. Maybe I did not know what was love at that moment and I just named it as love.

So, what is love?

My definition of love – it is an eternal feeling of selfless care and affection and that’s it. I do not think it has to take a form to be called love. It exists between humans, animals and for that matter in anything that has a heart. I believe that the phrase, `I love you’ carries more weight than it is thought to be.

`Love is a slow poison’

I am talking about the feeling which I see in parents’ eyes for their children. I have seen parents ready to give up everything to see a happy smile on their children’s faces. Is their anyone who just wants you to be happy without anything in return? Everyone except parents look for something in return for a favor. A partner expects affection or shall I say “love” in return for their “love” for you. A friend expects friendship in return for their favors. It is only the parents who will continue to love you even though you fail to retun it back. One question which has made me think a lot is –

Can `love’ exist in relationships other than parent-children?

I think I have a life ahead of myself to answer this question, and who knows someday I might answer this question with a yes.

Will this life be exciting if you would know what is going to happen next? Well, I want to share what I think about knowing future in this blog.

I think it would change the way I see life. As I grew up, I have always looked up to new surprises in various aspects of my life, be it education, work, health, family or friends. I want to wake up every morning with a curiosity about what life has to offer today. Will this change if I knew the outcome of every decision I take?

Life can get pretty boring if one fails to cherish what it has to offer you. The sense of achievement or accomplishment is one of the strongest emotions necessary to keep your heart racing for your goals. And I fear, I would lose it if I knew exactly how things would turn out.

Am I scared because I do not know what is going to happen? To be honest, I am! Wouldn’t it be good to have an assurance or belief that everything will be alright? Maybe yes. Such an assurance can help you cross the sea in harsh and dark times. Yes, that’s it, maybe this is what I want! I want a belief or hope to adhere to and maybe I can take the leaps I dream of.

There comes a time in life when you are forced to think, what now? Wouldn’t it be nice if we could live without a goal or expectation? Well, I have learnt that this is not how life works. Or maybe, I cannot simply do anything without a reason.

I am at that stage right now where I want to fly high. And on the other hand, I feel maybe I am not meant to fly. I cannot answer this unless I dive, isn’t it? Water has beautiful properties- it can be contained but it is difficult to contain once spilled. And I feel that my thoughts work the same. One moment, I know this is the right thing, let’s do this! this is it! and the very next moment, nah, let’s take a safe route, is it really worth it?

Well, I am trying to answer this question for myself these past few days. I will definitely make up my mind on something. Tag along to know where I go!

Shukriya! Sat Sri Akal! Thank you!

I am a student who is young at heart and believes that sky is the limit. I believe in a saying by Walt Disney, `If you can dream it, you can do it’.

I hope that some of you can relate to what it feels like following your dreams and heart. 🙂